One Side to the Other

Images made within moments of one another. Wandering amid the masses of beach dwellers. Just shaking the dust off. A snap here, a snap there. Looking more than shooting. The distance is what is troubling at first, after so long in front of the screen, protected. Not here. Everything is open to the elements, including my eyes which dry and then water like a newborn. My depth is not quite right, but I know it and take visual precaution. My fingers tremble over the dials, a routine that comes back quickly no matter how long I’ve been away, and now, when I look down, the numbers are fuzzy. Yes, I’m that guy now. The one who lifts the spectacles to see what is so clearly right in front of him. Age destroys ego in most, and I can see myself leveling off in regard. “Know your limits,” someone wiser once said. Mine are clearly, or not so clearly, defined. I need no map to see the edges of the flat Earth. One boot hangs on the edge, but the other is dug in, braced and defiant.
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The camera allows me to become invisible. I know, I know, that’s impossible, but I beg to differ. A physical meditation if you pursue it long enough. I swear. You are there, and then you blend into the swatch kit of color that life provides. I turn one way and slow the shutter, pan through the railing. People running. A rangefinder so I need to compensate for not seeing clearly the frame I need to see. Who knows? And then a slow path to the other side where a woman in white strikes a pose for me, only not for me, but for someone I can’t see. Thank you.
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Spacing. It’s all about the spacing. I know this isn’t something that will live on paper, or even in my mind for any length of time, but this image deserves respect only for the spacing. The elements are there, in harmony with the environment. Open, sandy, spacious, limitless, broad, minimal. Ya, that’s it, broad but minimal. We all have a wheelhouse and this is mine. I like to dissect. Need to actually and when I do I’m so happy it feels guilty. A secret I tell to only myself. You want to know this feeling? Just go. Just go and press the button. Again and again.
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Trying to find Southern California

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I find it so difficult to work in Southern California. When I say “work” I mean photograph. My other work, meaning Blurb, is totally fine here in SoCal, but I don’t respond to this place visually. I’ve tried to like SoCal so many times I don’t know what else to do other than realize it just isn’t going to happen. Southern California for me is just too normal, too sterile and organized. You KNOW if I’m shooting reflections of MYSELF I’ve hit rock bottom.

These pics are a few random moments from the past few weeks. I’m one of those people who carry a camera everyday, all day, regardless of where I’m going or what I’m doing. Could be a simple run to the store to buy ten pounds of carne asada. When I’m traveling with people they will ask, “Hey, we are just going around the corner, are you really going to take your manbag and your camera?” My response is always the same, “First of all, it’s a purse, and second, YES, I’m taking both items AND my audio recorder.” To NOT take these items makes me feel naked and not in a good way.

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Yesterday, in a fit of Southern California inspired creative failure I came up with yet another book project, one that I hope takes everything I dislike about this area and funnels it into one, somewhat cohesive, somewhat interesting essay. And people when I say I don’t like this place, it’s nothing more than saying visually it doesn’t float my boat. I like old, I like culture, I like random and unpredictable, everything that SoCal is not. In general it is an easy place to be, which is perhaps another reason it doesn’t work for me. I like places that are more of a battle. A masochist you say? Perhaps. For the most part here everywhere looks like everywhere else. The places I find more interesting are simply too time consuming to get to based on our horrendous traffic problem. So, I continue to look, hunt, plead, beg and search for those little moments that sustain me, but I have to say, it’s getting more and more difficult to play the game. I have the major itchies and when I get these typically drastic measures are at hand.

I need a vacation.

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