To Live or Not to Live

There was a decision to be made. There was no right or wrong, just a choice. The assignment had changed. The deadline was no more. All the options were inside one Tenba bag, black, just sitting there. “What are we doing today?” I asked.
A 5D and four gig cards. A 1v and five rolls of 36. Left in my hands. The decision. My automatic response was 5D…to save money perhaps? A fast turnaround? Would I save time?
But wait. Was it? Is it? Would it be?
I grabbed the 1v and the first roll of 36. One lens. And then I shot. Three people, one big, two small. One hour. Five rolls.
I didn’t need twenty images of one scene because I got in it the first two. I’m supposed to be a photographer remember? 180 pictures. A lot, more than I need.
Getting in the car, pushing the start button and my mind hits autopilot. Download to the desktop, label folders, open Aperture…..but wait.
No need. I think I’ll make a salad instead, write a little bit, sit on the back porch and think. Film, job is already gone, shipped off. Now I have my life back. And now the mystery remains. The anticipation that so many find difficult to understand. Buzzing.